Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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