i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My cat gives me a boner
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
