Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
