You smell like a Billy Joel song
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
