Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
