why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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