you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
