I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
