we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
