I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize