I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
