If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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