This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
