Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize