Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm at about main and main street
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
