that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Never underestimate the power of titties
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