The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
