I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
