he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
