Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize