Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
