I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
