I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
