Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
