i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
