I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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