Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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