wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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