Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
