I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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