Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize