I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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