She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
