I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
