scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
