see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
