but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
