I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
