turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am midnight drunk by noon
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
