Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
