I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
