Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
