You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
