She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
