I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
