I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Drunk is a universal language darling
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
