Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
