I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
