would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
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You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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