Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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