She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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