What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it