apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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