; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think a kid would responsible me up
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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