I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
