Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
