i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
