This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
