I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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