our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
