Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want her autograph on my taint
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
