you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He kissed a someone with a penis
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He? As in you personified your dick?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize