i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
