thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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