You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
