he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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