We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize