Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
